When a Celebrant has no words. When we meet someone who has suffered a great loss, most of us are terrified that we will say the wrong thing; that we will blurt out the wrong words and add to that person's unimaginable pain. I had hoped that as a Celebrant I would somehow learn the right thing to say, that I would conquer my fear. I haven't. There are no right words to say to a parent who has lost a child.... Each person is different and what may comfort one may hurt another.
The most important thing I have learnt is that you have to approach with love. I have to be brave enough to listen and learn of the depths of love they had for their child. That I can draw courage from the strength that love gives to a family. And just for a little while, I have to learn all I can of the unique beloved person they have lost, so that I can love them too and create a ceremony that is worthy of them. So although I still don't have the right words for that first painful meeting, I now accept that my fear is natural and that it is all worthwhile because everyday I am learning how to find those perfect words that make up my ceremonies. So that together we can celebrate a unique and beautiful life.